What Exactly Defines a Demigirl?

[abacct]

When I first heard about asexuality I started question my own sexuality and whether or not I was asexual. Along this road I started questioning my gender identity as well.

I don't know exactly how to explain this, but I sort of identify as a girl but at the same time I don't. I look like a girl, but I don't act like one or really want to look like one either. My whole life I've tended to act more... masculine, I guess. Like I would always play with the boys at recess and I want men's clothing and I just have never been able to understand girls.

My mom gets mad at me because I refuse to wear makeup and I won't dress up nice and I hate associating myself with feminine things. I still get embarrassed over things like bras and periods and try to avoid any conversation like that with people because I don't want to anyone to think I go through those things even though it's obvious I do.

...Did that make sense?

Anyways, I call myself a girl because that's what I was born as but I don't really want to be known as a girl. I feel male more than I feel female, but I still consider myself female because I feel like one sometimes. It's really confusing, I guess.

So am I a demigirl or genderqueer or what? Thanks for reading.

[I am Sherlocked]

Sounds like you identify more with the male gender. Do you want to transform your body into a man? Or perhaps just look like a male. Sort of like Shane from L word minus being lesbian?

I get where you're coming from. I didn't start wanting to be girly and wear make up until I was 16. I also didn't start really dressing like a female until I last year. For the sake of professionalism at work and also because I didn't want people thinking I was a dude at work. I actually think it's awesome when people confuse other people's genders, I'm androgynous if I don't bother to go out of my way to look female. But lately, I've been wanting to appear more like a girl. I think it's cause of all my fascination with drag queens. I like the idea of getting all dolled up. lol.

But yeah, What do YOU feel like, dear?

[5_♦♣]

Look at the definitions master list for the definition(s) of a demigirl.

[abacct]

Sounds like you identify more with the male gender. Do you want to transform your body into a man? Or perhaps just look like a male. Sort of like Shane from L word minus being lesbian?

I don't want to transform, it's just more like I feel like a guy in a girl's body half the time. The other half I feel like just a person without a gender in a girl's body.

[Radish]

I think one way to find out is to try to find people who are questioning their gender identity and see if your experiences and theirs are similar and if you can relate to them.

That's one thing I do when I'm trying to do some self exploration. I read and went on forums for homosexual, bisexual, pansexual, transgendered, etc. before I found Aven and here who the only place where I felt like "Oh yeah that is kinda how I feel and I am"

[howyoufeel_org]

Could split the distinction.

There are

* Romantic attraction

* Sexual attraction

* Gender identity

Take me for example

I am:

* Demi-panromantic

* Demi-heterosexual

* Agender (but a bit blur, lean against cisgender or cisgender lean against agender).

I feel not 100% as a man but I do not feel like a woman either, I feel a neutral, I have kind of one foot in each "team".

[Janus the Fox]

Taken directly from the Definitions Master List:-

Demigirl: 1. someone assigned female at birth who feels but the barest association with that identification, though not a significant enough dissociation to create real physical discomfort or dysphoria; 2. someone assigned male at birth who is transfeminine but not wholly binary-identified, so that they feel more strongly associated with "female" than "male," socially or physically, but not strongly enough to justify an absolute self-identification as "woman."

Demiguy: Reverse of demigirl

Though male, I can relate to that myself. Something that closly more feels like Agender as well. Gender is not black or white either just like sexuality.

I am comfortable in my own skin, Though I don't feel the need to change, only changes needed for me was to feminize my body more. This was to grow my hair longer, use skin softener to soften skin and to um.. remove excess visible muscle. This minor transition is the only thing I felt that I needed change.

It don't bother me what parts are there plus my personality is more feminine or very minor masculine. Otherwise concerning gender for me is tricky being literally unable to distinguish and read some feeling being within the autistic spectrum or apathetic nature.

[abacct]

Ah, thank you.

[Treehugger7]

I have been having the same experience since I discovered my asexuality. I have never really felt a strong loyalty to my birth gender. I have never adopted any female behaviors such as going to the bathroom in groups. I also felt slightly uncomfortable with my development in puberty though I never wanted to be male. I could accept it but I wasn't excited about bras, or anything that other girls were excited about I kindof dreaded it actually and I still don't like bra shopping. I don't like gender labels like girl, woman, man, or boy because of some sort of mental association I have with the words but I also don't like using them to refer to other people. I guess I have just been seeing everyone as neutral gender.

I can be Girly though. I sometimes like to wear dresses and I wear a little makeup to cover up zits when I go out, but it took me awhile to even consider doing that. I also prefer socializing with males because I feel like I have more in common with them.

[Guest]

I don't like gender labels like girl, woman, man, or boy because of some sort of mental association I have with the words but I also don't like using them to refer to other people. I guess I have just been seeing everyone as neutral gender.

For one thing, I can completely agree with you on that. I wish all clothing was addressed to people, instead of dividing between males and females (yeah, what do we non-binary folks do? Duh).

Anyway, as far as I'm concerned, since "demi" means "half" in French, I'd say a person who feels about 50% female would qualify as a demigirl, and likewise for demiguy. Of course it's the polar opposite of technical, just my own personal way of seeing it, and the definitions differ (see PDT's post). Still, it can be a way of determining whether what you feel falls under the "demigirl" term or not. Hope I've helped :)

[iff]

personally speaking i don't have alot of male traits (my favourite music tends to have a mix of male and female singers, don't like horror movies or action movies. soccer, rugby and gaelige football give me no interest. internet tests also put me firmly in the female column, of course i know these are flawed. i also in many situations get on better with females, particularly at college i did. the 3 people i get along best with at work are females. the males are just too argumentative and not nice people. before this, i had a good friend at work who has left and i did get along with him best but then again he has described himself as a lesbian :D not joking. I'm also very grossed out by disgusting things) but I do not feel the discomfort of being in a male body so in that way, demi sounds about right for me. i did consider whether i might be trans but i don't have a discomfort as being male (although i also don't know what that would feel like). i have nearly used on occasion as explanation for my ways by saying "i am a girl, you know" but i felt this would get odd looks from people whenever i have felt the urge to do so.

of course, stereotypes are just a social construct. and i really wish i was invited to the meeting where the male stereotypes were decided so i could have my say on the subject :D

although i've never presented myself as female, i have on occassion been confused for being female in person, in a photo and on the phone.

[abacct]

I don't like gender labels like girl, woman, man, or boy because of some sort of mental association I have with the words but I also don't like using them to refer to other people. I guess I have just been seeing everyone as neutral gender.

My problems with the terms "boy" and "girl" is the gender stereotypes that go with it. If you're born a female people shove you in the female stereotypes with no room to escape and vice versa. Gender is not your sex. Things like transphobia make me so upset because transgenders just don't fit in stereotypes and the world won't stop flipping out over it. So what, I was born a girl? I don't feel like a girl and I don't feel like a boy. I don't see why that's such a major problem.

...Did that make sense? I don't know, it makes sense in my head.

[Guest]

My problems with the terms "boy" and "girl" is the gender stereotypes that go with it. If you're born a female people shove you in the female stereotypes with no room to escape and vice versa. Gender is not your sex. Things like transphobia make me so upset because transgenders just don't fit in stereotypes and the world won't stop flipping out over it. So what, I was born a girl? I don't feel like a girl and I don't feel like a boy. I don't see why that's such a major problem.

...Did that make sense? I don't know, it makes sense in my head.

It makes a LOT of sense to me. My problem with my biological sex is exactly that: I don't mind my body myself, what I dislike is that it's automatically associated to the gender stereotypes that match my chromosome pair. <_<

[Arcovia]

I had a nice long post that got swallowed up by my computer. >:( Anyway.

I identify as demigirl (using the first definition), and to me that means I feel just female enough that I'm okay with my assignment even though it's incorrect. The rest of me is a mixture of agender and neutrois, but that isn't a part of the definition. Someone on this forum described demigender as being 51% X, but the other 49% could be anything. I have problems with that because I don't think half and half is a good way to describe it, but it's still somewhat helpful.

Other labels you might want to look at if you haven't already: the second definition of demiguy and transmasculine. It's also good to keep in mind that gender presentation and gender identity are not the same thing, even though the latter often affects the former.

[booksaremysexlife]

If you sometimes feel like a girl, and sometimes a guy, and/or sometimes feel like a non-binary gender, then you might be genderfluid.

If you mostly feel like a girl, and are comfortable with it, but sometimes feel like another gender (male or non-binary, ect..) then you might me a demigirl.

If you mostly feel like a guy, but sometimes feel like another gender (female, ect.) then you might be a demiguy.

There are a bunch of other non-binary genders, and it is nice to take some time to look at them too. It helps!

Sorry if this doesn't do much (according to some people, 13 year olds don't know anything), but I hope I helped. :D

[Four Eyed Lemon]

As far as demigender. I once heard it described as genderfluid with a leaning. So instead of like male/female genderfluid, someone who's demigender might experience like agender/male or agender/female fluctuations. And if you fluctuate like that, you could be a demiboy?

[Heart]

Oops, this topic is really old. I'm going to lock it, as the person who posted it has likely already gotten what they need from it. Feel free to start a new thread if you have thoughts on this.

Heart

Gender Discussion Moderator