Black ring on right hand could have another (kinda gross) meaning!

[Xavy]

I know that some aces may not know what a swinger is, so fair warning, it's kind of a gross practice (my opinion) so don't google it if you think you can't handle it, and maybe consider not reading on.

I think I came across before that wearing a black ring on your right hand can be mistaken for a symbol that you are a member of the swinger community, in fact I think I saw it mentioned here on AVEN. Well, today someone asked me if I am a swinger, and when I enquired why they would ask me such a thing, they said it was because they googled "black ring" and that is what came up. So, I googled it to check, and to be honest, it does seem that wearing a black ring on your right hand is more recognized as a symbol that you are a member of the swinger community than that you are a member of the asexual community.

Well, whatever, I am still wearing my black ring on my right middle finger.

[Sage Raven Domino]

It's well-known that

A black ring on the right hand on any other finger had been adopted as a symbol for swingers, which I'm not. I don't know how common or widely known that is as a symbol though.

I'm sure that the asexual community used the black ring (usually on the right middle finger) first; the first thread I've seen about it on AVEN is about 10 years old, but it's good that the swinger community acknowledges that and tells swingers who want to wear the black ring as a symbol that they should wear theirs on any other finger than the right middle finger out of respect for the asexual community.

[Salted Karamel]

I feel like googling swinging would probably yield more explicit results than just telling people what it means here, so to kill the suspense: "swinging" refers to the practice of people in committed (sexual) relationships agreeing to have sex outside the relationship, usually in casual encounters (distinguishing it from polyamory, though you can be both polyamorous and also a swinger). It's important that both/all members of the relationship are on board with the extramarital sex happening, which distinguishes it from cheating.

[Techie]

I wear a black tungsten carbide ring on my right middle finger and have yet to be questioned. I do know the left hand is a no-no. There is a page I came across from the swinger community stating that swingers should respect the asexual community's use of the right middle finger.

[Vega91]

If I google "black ring on middle finger," the first few links are about asexuality and the third link also mentions that the swinger community should respect aces.

I guess there's room for confusion but I've never had a problem. I don't think the majority of people even notice the rings..

[DragonflytotheMoon]

My husband & I have a poly arrangement, but, no swinging, threesomes or hookups of any kind. For me, at least, it's about friendship & affection. With some romance & maybe a little sensuality thrown in. Even if I was into the sexual aspect, I would prefer one on one. I wouldn't even want my husband involved when I'm with someone else.

[TaminSweets]

Q: How does the black ring work?

A: Wear your black ring on your right hand if you are out and open to meet other swingers. If someone wearing a black ring on their right hand approaches you, start a conversation with them. "I see you're wearing a black ring on your right hand. Maybe we are in the same club."

Q: Does it matter what finger I wear my black ring?

A: Wear your black ring on any finger but the middle one. The ring finger is the natural place for the black ring, but thumb rings are cool too. A black ring worn on the middle finger of the right hand is a used symbol of asexuality. Please avoid wearing your ring on this finger as a courtesy to that community.

• Hopefully that answers you question better... middle finger is supposed to be for the asexuals
  

[EricK]

Q: How does the black ring work?

A: Wear your black ring on your right hand if you are out and open to meet other swingers. If someone wearing a black ring on their right hand approaches you, start a conversation with them. "I see you're wearing a black ring on your right hand. Maybe we are in the same club."

Q: Does it matter what finger I wear my black ring?

A: Wear your black ring on any finger but the middle one. The ring finger is the natural place for the black ring, but thumb rings are cool too. A black ring worn on the middle finger of the right hand is a used symbol of asexuality. Please avoid wearing your ring on this finger as a courtesy to that community.

• Hopefully that answers you question better... middle finger is supposed to be for the asexuals

Nice of them to give us the middle finger.

[RoseGoesToYale]

Q: How does the black ring work?

A: Wear your black ring on your right hand if you are out and open to meet other swingers. If someone wearing a black ring on their right hand approaches you, start a conversation with them. "I see you're wearing a black ring on your right hand. Maybe we are in the same club."

Q: Does it matter what finger I wear my black ring?

A: Wear your black ring on any finger but the middle one. The ring finger is the natural place for the black ring, but thumb rings are cool too. A black ring worn on the middle finger of the right hand is a used symbol of asexuality. Please avoid wearing your ring on this finger as a courtesy to that community.

• Hopefully that answers you question better... middle finger is supposed to be for the asexuals

Nice of them to give us the middle finger.

As a linguistics minor, this made me laugh for five minutes straight :lol:

In the same vein, just like with words, symbols can have vastly different meanings. Even if the black ring also represents the swinger community, over time there will be more differentiation.

[ben8884]

so wait a second, which hand is the one for ace pride?

[Vega91]

so wait a second, which hand is the one for ace pride?

Right hand, middle finger is the most commonly used one.

[Pengwyn]

My ring has never (as far as I'm aware) been seen as a swinger ring. Then again, nobody has mentioned it being an ace ring. It wouldn't bother me if someone asked me if I was a swinger; I'd use it as an opportunity to explain asexuality.

As for swinging being "gross"... I'd have to disagree. They may partake in certain sexual acts which are "gross", but having multiple fully informed and consenting sexual partners isn't gross in itself.

[ChillaKilla]

Yeah, the "gross" bit? That's a personal opinion that many on AVEN, myself included, will disagree with (since it appears to be negatively judging the decisions of consenting adults). But it seems many are aware of the double significance.

[LunarEclipse*]

Someone googled what your ring meant? Has that happened to anyone else?

I love my ring but I'm not really ready to come out yet...

[UnplannedCauli]

In my country Ace ring (i.e. black on middle right finger) always meant you're grieving somebody, usually your deceased spouse, but also applicable for children or parents or very close friends.

I never minded that misinterpretation though.

[Tudor]

So if I'm not in the swinger community nor in the aces community, what finger can I wear my black ring on? I just like it and I don't want people to get it wrong 

[Raire]

14 minutes ago, Tudor said:

So if I'm not in the swinger community nor in the aces community, what finger can I wear my black ring on? I just like it and I don't want people to get it wrong 

Probably best to keep it on your left hand if possible. 

The right hand in general may unintentionally 'out' you as part of the swinger community, and the middle finger may give the impression to the few in-the-know that you may have ace tendencies. 

I don't imagine that wearing a black ring on either hand is going to shout about your orientation in a manner that will lead you to having to answer questions, to be honest! Wear it where it feels comfortable. 

[Rhaenys]

"It's well known..."

Bruh I didn't know this till today.

 

Spare me the two consenting adults thing cause you don't just go up to ppl and ask that like if it's the weather 😧.

I agree it's gross and rude since apparently they assumed your sexual identity and activity when that's not the case. I'd be offended if someone randomly assumed that about me if I wore an ace ring.

 

 

[njosnavelin]

I wore my great grand mother’s wedding ring on my ring finger left side because it was the finger that it fit on. 

 

I had  several people ask me if I was married and I quickly reply no and let them know how I aquited it and the resemblance it had to me.

 

I have always thought it is strange that people automatically making an assumption of my status from the finger a ring sat on. It is my finger and my ring not social property.

 

Eventually, a jeweler told me to take it off because it is unknown how well the diamonds are set in the ring. He pointed out to me the diamonds today do not come with that level of clearity anymore. Following his advice I took it off.

[knittinghistorian]

On 7/4/2016 at 9:02 PM, Techie said:

 I do know the left hand is a no-no.

Why, what does the left hand signify?

[Guest -NULL-]

I just found these posts and now I am utterly terrified by the fact that I have been wearing my ace ring in many public places. I hope that nobody thought that I was some nasty teenager. RIP me. I guess that I will move my ace ring to my ring finger on my right hand. I feel very betrayed.

[Rosendust]

16 hours ago, Ace Ninja said:

I just found these posts and now I am utterly terrified by the fact that I have been wearing my ace ring in many public places. I hope that nobody thought that I was some nasty teenager. RIP me. I guess that I will move my ace ring to my ring finger on my right hand. I feel very betrayed.

I'm definitely agree! I'm going to wear my ring on the same finger now!

[Skycaptain]

@Ace Ninja, @Rosendust

 

The right middle finger is the Ace finger. A black ring on any other finger on the right hand is used by the swinging community to show what sort of activities you are seeking 

[Tori Sunshine]

On 7/4/2016 at 6:54 PM, Salted Karamel said:

I feel like googling swinging would probably yield more explicit results than just telling people what it means here, so to kill the suspense: "swinging" refers to the practice of people in committed (sexual) relationships agreeing to have sex outside the relationship, usually in casual encounters (distinguishing it from polyamory, though you can be both polyamorous and also a swinger). It's important that both/all members of the relationship are on board with the extramarital sex happening, which distinguishes it from cheating.

When you think about it, it's pretty funny how two groups with totally different attitudes towards sex would take up the same symbol

[Nick2]

Well, that is ironic.  So who gives in?  Maybe swingers can wear their black rings through their nose.

[Sweet Potato]

On 2/8/2018 at 4:13 PM, njosnavelin said:

I wore my great grand mother’s wedding ring on my ring finger left side because it was the finger that it fit on. 

 

I had  several people ask me if I was married and I quickly reply no and let them know how I aquited it and the resemblance it had to me.

 

I have always thought it is strange that people automatically making an assumption of my status from the finger a ring sat on. It is my finger and my ring not social property.

 

Eventually, a jeweler told me to take it off because it is unknown how well the diamonds are set in the ring. He pointed out to me the diamonds today do not come with that level of clearity anymore. Following his advice I took it off.

how is it strange to assume that a wedding ring on the left-hand ring finger means the individual is married?
 

[Scott1989]

So Swingers and Aces are as far as I'm aware are the most popular black ring meaning wearers, but apparently, on the thumb, it can also mean that you are a super lesbian.

 

I personally think it's cool that the Swinger community on the most part respect asexuals enough with this to say the middle right finger is ace only. The majority of the rest I'd guess doesn't know about it. I heard they did black rings 1st but accommodated when the idea of aces using middle right, which was looking on google was an AVEN idea as middle fingers have some meaning of being single, and it avoids issues with the discomfort with possible wedding rings. If Aces did it first, them researching and respecting ace rings should still be much appreciated. Them adding our ring in their FAQs (as others have quoted) is widely quoted, even in news articles exposing swinger symbols

 

Also I read that Swingers prefer to keep a low profile due to discrimination, so they wouldn't\shouldn't just go up to random people and say "Are you a swinger?". Their use of black rings is to help identify each other discreetly, and they would tend to ask if it's a lifestyle ring (being in the lifestyle is their code for being into swinging). Because of this, it's just as awkward for them to get it wrong as it would be for us aces. So I would say there should be very little to worry about, and if you do get an awkward moment asking if you are into the lifestyle, I'm sure a discreet explanation will be fine for all concerned.

[Ortac]

That whole swinger thing is the reason why I personally would not wear a black ring. Even if aces did adopt the concept first, it still nevertheless puts me right off. 

 

I think it would be a good idea for aces to come up with another symbol that could be used as an alternative to or in addition to the black ring. Whilst I am not personally keen on the ring, if there was some kind of bracelet or wristband, I might be more inclined to wear something like that. 

[Lstorm]

So to sum up the generally consensus the black ring on middle finger is to represent ace community 

 

a black ring on the ring finger of the middle is for swingers. 

 

How I see it is personally is why you wear the ring that means the most. I personally wear my ring to not feel so left out when I’m constantly bombarded with feelings of insecurity. Being ace in my life without knowing it has always made me feel like there’s something wrong with me. To look at my finger and understand I’m not alone brings me comfort. 

 

If you wear wear it for others to know your asexual is cool too. But understand a lot of ppl 1 won’t notice your hand in the first place 2 if they did notice won’t know what it means (even if they are ace themselves) or just assume it means nothing or something completely else 3 good convo starter and way to spread awareness of others sexual identity. 

 

 

[Techie]

I still have my solid black tungsten carbine ring that I wear on my right middle finger BUT I just acquired this ring the other day which is a little different and more ACE IMHO: